Empty Nest Syndrome: How to Thrive When the Kids are Gone

There is an old saying that the best gift we can give our children are roots and wings.  The roots are easy, the wings – not so much.

People go through many transitions on a regular basis. Some are small, many are significant.  The transition that I am focusing on now is becoming an empty nester.  Have you been looking forward to it?  Or has it scared the daylights out of you?  Is it your youngest leaving the nest?  Or maybe your only?  No matter what, this final step of separation is huge. 

We have all seen the commercials – the high school graduation and the look of pride on a parent’s face. Now pan to a scene where the final box is crammed into the already packed-to-the-brim car.  You and your young adult drive off into the sunset while some sentimental music plays in the background and … fade to black.   

When we drove my daughter to college, I was so focused on being happy and upbeat for her, that when I hugged her goodbye and walked out of her dorm, I was unprepared for the level of emotion I felt.  I needed to sit down on a bench in the lobby of her dorm and compose myself. 

That was three years ago and of course life, as it does, goes on.  She is happy and I got used to shopping for two. It’s quieter in the house. I can listen to the music I like without snide comments and eyes rolling. But it’s all OK.  She comes home on breaks, and I cherish every minute – but I know, and she knows – that except for short periods of time, she will never really live here again.   There are times when that reality almost brings me to tears and yet I know she is where she should be and the alternative is not what we want.  But this stage of life is one of the biggest transitions and perhaps one of the most difficult.  And now, what?  If you were a stay-at-home parent, what will you do?  Do you want to return to work? If you are working out of the house, is this the time to try something else? 

It can be daunting to turn the page to this next chapter and focus on yourself - or yourself and your partner.

It can become paralyzing if you have no clear path.  It can also be extremely exciting.  You can do anything or nothing - your choice!  Didn’t you ever wonder, “when my child grows up, I will …..” Now you begin again ….